Saturday, December 18, 2010

Rockwater Magic

We made it our personal mission to make the contractors in Golden, BC our stoke slaves. And stoke we did accomplish. Thank you Ryan at the Rockwater for being a wonderful host, and thank you magician James for reminding me that magic is real.....I mean REALLY real. I mean this guy made water disappear over Sage's head. I am actually sure that Sage will find it someday just floating around in magic behind her ears or something.

Don't break his pen though. He'll cut you in half with magic.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Shred Kelly, Ben Hur, and Home

It's the weekend again and that means its time to play music. Tonight its Shred Kelly at the Pub for a three hour epic and Saturday its Ben Hur at the Central as part of Banned Fest. If you don't know, Ben Hur is the epic rock outfit that our Mandolin/Guitar player Jeremy leads, and I am the drummer. There is also Ian Bolzenius on guitar. The three of us have afros. In fact, if it were not for our famale bassist Alana, we'd look like Jonas Brothers........except less Jonas Brother.....and more......awesome.......

Monday its home for the holidays before returning to the Kootenay's for a week of carnage like no other. Starting with New Years Eve in Panorama, we ring in 2011 with foot stomping greatness, followed four days later by a show at the pub for the Kokanee Ryde or Die Party, only to wake up the next day to play the Freeskiing World Tour in Revelstoke, only to wake up the next day to play the Royal on Baker in Nelson, BC, only to wake up the next day to play the Kaslo Hotel. My god man! We might actually spontaneously combust from stoke.

Ben Hur.....


The holidays are upon us and "Hark the Harold Angels Sing", let the rum and egg nog flow like golden boozy lava. And while we get together with loved ones this holiday season, we reminisce of simple times. The good times! Times when social status was based on who could finish Super Mario Bros 3, and your best friend was an E.T. doll who lit your bedroom carpet on fire with a cigarette lighter.......

Am I right?

I mean....everyone did that right??.....E.T.?...............Fire?


There I was about a month ago, booking plane tickets home to Toronto for Christmas. I got my tickets booked with a credit card online and all was good. Aside from hearing about Ontario snow drifts that eat people alive, I was in great spirits. However, two days ago my parents checked my flight itinerary online and well, turns out, instead of booking Calgary to Toronto on December 20th, I had actually booked Toronto to Calgary on December 20th instead. That's right folks. I got the destinations backwards.

And so here is a drink to my Mom and my Dad for finding my mistake via email. You both deserve a stiff drink after realizing that your youngest son is, well......special. And before you think this turns into some "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" storyline, you are wrong because a lovely Westjet representative named Sara was very understanding to my pleas of stupidity and gave me a very good stupidity rate.

And no answer your question via email, I am not on elicit drugs.

Here is a clip of what could have ensued had my father not noticed my fatal mistake in airline booking.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Shred Kelly to play the 2011 Freesking World Tour

Sorry for the lack of posting folks. Its been an interesting week. We played Lethbridge, I got sick, I got better, jam night + snowboarding, I got sick, I got better, we played a gig in Golden, I got sick, working on getting better....eeeesh. The good times are killing me.

Anyway, one good thing that emerged from this germ infested week is the news that we will be performing at the Canadian leg of the 2011 Subaru Freeskiing World Tour in Revelstoke, BC on January 6th, 2011

Oooooh snap! ...

Yeah that's what I said......Ooooooohh Snap!

*ahem* I'll say it again.....oooooooohhh Snap?

That isn't cool for people to say that anymore is it?

Last years kick off party in the Colorado......

For more info and lots of pictures of crazy shredding check

Monday, December 6, 2010


Another Monday, another day of paying the mechanic $750 for auto repairs on my 1993 Mazda MPV (ShitHawk) and mourning the passing of another iconic person from my childhood.

R.I.P. Mark Dailey

Mark Dailey was an news reporter and anchorman on Citytv's news show CityPulse throughout the 1980's to the present. He was known as the voice of the Toronto station with his iconic line "Citytv....Everywhere". I cannot tell you how many nights during my childhood I fell asleep watching Late Great Movies on Citytv with Mark Dailey's quirky narratives keeping the ball rolling before every commercial break. It just won't be the same show without him.

Stop dying iconic people from my childhood. I am starting to feel really old.

If you are from Ontario (maybe Canada?) and around my age, watch this video clip and you will understand what my typical Saturday night entailed as an awkward movie obsessed teen....*ahem* mean, popular confident AC Slater look alike teen....cause.....that's what girls liked back then..........right?

Side Note: I nearly fainted when Johnny 5 came on the screen.

Another Side Note: Readers, if you don't know who Johnny 5 is then do yourself a favor and please rent a movie called Short Circuit and go back home to the moon and watch it.....cause that's where you are from.......the moon.....because its so classic.....and awesome.......

and clearly I am old.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Our Friends Make Cool Things

This is the kootenay based Jah Raven Creations new film trailer titled "What's in the Fridge" which is premiering at the Vogue Theatre in Fernie tomorrow night (Dec 4th). The after party is at the always wonderful and continuous party machine, Bulldogs North. Now I don't want to tell you what happened to me when I watched this trailer for the first time, but it involved having to start a load of laundry.

Congrats Jah Raven Creations for raising the bar once again and forcing another chore into my day. I mean, Tetris.......and shredding........and glorious pow......and.... happened again.

Whats in the Fridge? A Teaser. from Jah Raven Creation on Vimeo.

The Magnificent "Magnificent 7's"

As I hear the avalanche bombs explode on ski hill yonder, I cannot help but to fathom what greatness will proceed this day as I wax thy board and sharpen thy edge and tune thy banjo to open c, for tonight we share the footlights in Lethbridge with fellow folk legends of the stoke manner, the Magnificent 7's, and tomorrow, yes tomorrow, we ride.

.....these medieval tights are huggy

Shred Kelly to help save melons (boobs)

Let's face it. We ALL love boobs. They're pretty much awesome. They come in all shapes and sizes, they feed our young, they make for great Dolly Parton jokes when passing one of these on the highway:

Heck, I'm actually sure that boobs are the sole reason that I failed grade 10 science.

But there is this unspeakable evil out there that takes boobs from us ! (Some say it also takes nards from us too *gulp* ) So when we were asked to play at a charity fundraiser on April 2nd at Norquay ski resort in Banff, Alberta called SAVE THE MELONS that raises money for breast cancer research, we were more than game. I mean, there is going to be a slopeside competition, beer gardens, entertainment (us!), raffles, 50/50 draw, and BBQ. glorious glorious BBQ.

Here is a video from last years Save the Melons event.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

November In a Nut Shell

November started on Halloween at midnight and we battled dark forces. Actually, the dark side got too drunk so we shook hands and got loose.

We played with great friends

We read some educational material

Chewy got some action...rrrrrdddddddrrraaaaaaaar

I played the drums in my underwear.

We played in Montana with more great friends

A gremlin moved into Super Dave, our tour van.

We won a contest and played at the Calgary Snow Show

It snowed a little

and I grew one of these

Now that December is here, I say bbbrrrring on the rum'n'egg noggers.....infact I've been drinkin'em since midnight last night...*uuuurrrrp*......4 cartons and a 40ozer already....they're gurgling in my tummy tho..... Meeerrrrry Chr............................*uuuurrrrrrrrp*

Happy December 1st!

Begone with you hairy demon.....Begone with you back to the hell that you have grown and take your itchiness and your food crumbs and your used car salesman/Ned Flanders/creepy uncle/porn star demeanor with you....begone Demon....BEGONE!!!!!


Mo'vember is official over and all of us men can go back to having a clean upper lip, although as much as I despised the little creature that grew under my a strange way, I will miss the little guy.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Bulldogs North

One of our loosest gigs of the year. Thanks to Bulldogs North for having us back after a long hiatus. God Bless Kyle Hudon. You are as talented a sound man/promoter as you are dreamy.

Here are some photos of the show as well as one big Tornado Alley rock ending to end all endings....

Side Note: Special thanks to the man in the pink polo shirt, creepy moustache, and aviators for dancing up a ridiculous storm front stage all night, as well as the very very VERY drunk women after the show that gave us $100 to play them one more song only to feel up our poor keyboardist in a very unwarranted manner. That was pretty rock and roll. And um.....thanks for the gas money?

Case of the Mondays

I know I know....Its Tuesday and legions of you were all "What the Hell Newton?! I thought you were a blogger? You can't just take Monday off!! Your words are the new religion that guides us through the monotony of our daily lives"

Well, you're right. But yesterday was a day of rest and a day of mourning. Not only did I sleep very little all weekend, but on Monday I awoke cranky as all hell only to find out that two visionaries that helped shape me into the man I am today had passed away.

R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen and Irvin Kershner.

Leslie Nielsen was best known for his hilarious one liners in the Airplane movies, Police Squad television series, Naked Gun movies and most recently, Men with Brooms. He was Canadian, had two stars on walks of fame, and brought people to tears with laughter.

Irvin Kershner directed one of the most important tragedies of all time titled "The Empire Strikes Back" for which we are introduced to Imperial Walkers, Yoda, the betrayal of Lando Calrissian, Han's Carbon Freezing, and the line that kept us hanging in utter suspense for two more years....."I am your Father" followed by a rather dramatic "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Actually I was 2 when the movie came to theaters and apparently according to my own father I peed myself when Darth Vader entered the room to the music of the Imperial March. I also remember having the "Empire Strikes Back" childrens picture book that you read along with to a 7" vinyl record playing in the background and you turned the page when you heard the *chime*

A tribute....

Leslie Nielsen in a nutshell.

Oh the agony in Chewy's crys.....I still tear up.

Side note: Apparently in the carbon freezing scene, when Princess Leia declares her love for Han, the original script called for Han to pronounce is love back to her, but this didn't jive with the director Irvin Kershner and he fought with George Lucus to have it changed to the response that eventually made it to the final cut:

Leia: I love you
Han: I know


A full report of the weekend to follow as soon as I can figure out how to connect Emma's camera thingy to this computron thingy.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Good Life

We have a busy weekend ahead of us full of music, faceshots (the snowy kind), travel, and good times. So busy in fact that I only have time today for one posting before the weekend takes me away to that special place, and if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry-ee-i-yee. Oooooooh oh-ou-woah sweet child.....*ahem*.... sorry.

G'N'Fn'R man. Gets me everytime.

So, its Shred Kelly at Bulldogs North tonight, up early for the grand opening of Fernie Alpine Resort, which by the look of things is going to be epic, and then off the Rossland to play the Red Room Lounge.

So as I peace out for a weekend of awesome, I leave you with a bunch of videos of poeple performing already awesome songs in a stoke folk manner. Guns and Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" on fiddle which made me pee a bit because its so awesome. And like the Metal Roses Tour of 1992 which my mom wouldn't let me go to because she thought I would grow horns, no G'N'R fiddle is complete with a little Metallica "One" to sweeten the pie performed with footstompin' greatness. Happy Weekend.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Stoke Folk

Stoke Folk: Modern fast driven folk music that makes you Stoked!

Our dear Sarah coined the term one humid boozy evening in NFLD and here are some bands that I'd lump into that category and with whom we have either played with, or will be playing with in the near future. Unfortunately I can't name one of them cause its only a rumor/not-in-stone/highly-classified/theydontevenknowyetsoshutyo'mouth kind of thing, but they rhyme with Smelliot Nude.

The Magnificent 7's from Winnipeg (December 3rd in Lethbridge at the Owl Lounge)

Larry and His Flask from Oregon, USA (April 3rd in Fernie at Bulldogs North)

The Wellits from Montreal (opened for them in Montreal last summer)

The Stables from Oshawa, Ontario (opened for them in Fernie)

Matthew Hornell and the Diamond Minds from St. Johns (opened for them in Newfoundland)

Broken Down Suitcase from Golden, BC (future date to be announced)

The Tuques from Rossland, BC (Blizzard Fest Rossland, BC Jan 38 - 30th)

The Harvest Conspiracy from Toronto (opened for us in Toronto)

Do your ears a favour, turn off your Beibers and your Nicklesacks, copy/paste these bands into your search engine and get your stoke folk on. I hear it cures indigestion and rashes. Just check out Larry and His Flask and you might even gyrate off the couch uncontrollably. I think that show is going hurt so so good.

The Daily Grind

I have a lot of time on my hands these days before the Fernie ski hill opens and in between gigs . My job starts at 4 o'clock and its part time. I don't own a TV and so I am developing a serious addiction to coffee and Youtube. In fact I'm getting to know the people of youtube pretty well. We're like THIS.....*fingers crossed on both hands*

Here is my daily pre-work schedule:

7:15 *MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH* (girlfriends alarm clock)
7:20 - 8:30 Breakfast smoothie, check email, facebook, kiss GF goodbye. (she works)
8:30 - 9:30 Micro nap, coffee, scratch self and stare at wall, contemplate
awesome things.
9:30 - 10:30 Check email/facebook again, finish coffee in pot, BLOG!
10:30 - 11:30 Watch Big Bang Theory on internet stream, youtube, more coffee.
11:30 - 12:30 Eat PBJ toast and play banjo, check youtube for cool banjo stuff, demo
sweet reverb pedals on youtube.
12:30 - 4:00 Repeat above cycle of nap, coffee, youtube, banjo, internet TV,
scratching, staring, email/facebooking until GF comes home from a
hard days work shaking head at mess in apartment. Look cute. Kiss.
Go to work.

What's that you say? Lazy?! I think NOT!! Did YOU make youtube friends with a Japanese visionary who makes instruments from FOOD???..........that's what I thought.

Dare to dream people.......dare to dream.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Shred Kelly to play at Blizzard Fest 2011 in Rossland, BC

Wha' chew lookin' at Rossland? What's that? You think my mother is a WHAT?? Ooohh you wanna dance hombre?!! Don't you know I'm LOCO?!! You wanna take this outside??? What's that?? You would but you are too scared of my enormous pecks??!!! Ooohhh you want some of THIS??! What's that?? Blizzard Fest? Oh............why didn't you just say so?

is how it went down in my head.

Shred Kelly has been given the honor of performing at the 2011 Blizzard Fest in Rossland BC taking place from January 28th to the 30th.

From the Tourism Rossland website:

The 4th Annual Blizzard Mountain Music Festival has invited some of Canada’s best live acts to come perform during Rossland’s famous Winter Carnival. Local rock band and Blizzard organizers The Tuques have hand picked over twelve acts to help cool down the alpine city over three days of winter carnival festivities and musical freeze. The Blizzard’s mandate is to promote original Canadian music ranging in styles and instrumentation while providing the audience with an authentic live concert setting. Two stages and multiple acts each night complemented by professional sound and lights provided by one of BC‘s top production company, Hairy Productions.

This is great because a) It is our first winter festival b) Rossland has a sick ski hill which we will shred c) I finally get to meet the mighty Tuques whom are awesome d) an electric banjo playing Sasquatch will be there. It don't get better than that!

Side note: The press release jpeg above is dated 2008 which I can only assume was posted by ski bums who just got dumped on with 80 cms of snow in three days proclaiming "80 cms of fresh! Use the old one dude!! Lets go!!"

Timmy Land

Dear Shreddernauts,

Tim here of Shred Kelly fame. I have been designated to help keep this blog continuous and awesome by sharing my daily thoughts. I mean lets face it. There is only so much a band can write about on a daily basis having to do with themselves. I mean, I know we're awesome, but our awesome can cure cancer and feed the hungry only so much. Sure I sleep, eat and exercise (100 one armed push ups before breakfast per day no big deal) like any other, but lets not get into details. So I officially welcome you to the inner chambers of my mind. This magical place has been described by many as "Timmy Land" or "Banjo Land" Few have entered and returned the same person.

They have been..........changed.....................................with awesome.

I cannot think of a better way to christen the debut of my (soon to be award winning) internet publishing career with a video that raises the serotonin levels in my complex brain to a new level by displaying two things that are nothing short of awesome: Star Wars and Banjo. And while many terrestrial wars rage on around our own planet, I want to thank mrtrainfanatic for reminding us all, as his shirt boldly pronounces, that everyone needs to be a little more of a chillaholic.

Kyle Hamilton is a Rad Photographer

Well he saw the beauty in us anyway, and capturing that on a hungover afternoon would make you a pretty brilliant gent.
Check out our link to the tale of this day in the Fernie fix online
Also should you need a photographer to capture your beaut get the the info on Kyle Hamilton at

Monday, November 22, 2010

Winter Tourism Fernie Video features Shred Kelly!

Thank you to Tourism Fernie for incorporating us in their Winter Tourism video. With winter having arrived let this video inspire you to come visit us in Fernie soon.

Fernie Ski Hill Opening Early

Looks like the opening day is going to be this weekend. (But don't miss Shred Kelly at the Northern on the 26th. Boozing the day before the hill opens is the perfect way to celebrate!) It opens Saturday the 27th and Sunday the 28th. So gear up! Sadly we will be missioning to Rossland Saturday morn. :( So for those of you stickin around, have fun and enjoy the epic powder.
I leave you with these two videos to stoke you up!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Arcade Files Music Video

Our favorite ladies of Fernie BC have made a music video and it rocks. Filmed by the wonderful and talented Dennis Schafer, the ladies rocked out and have this to show for it! Featuring guest appearances by other local favorites, it looked like they had an awesome time making it too. Wish I could've been there, sadly my preschool teaching schedule has me on a strict "no partying on Thursday's" rule.
Way to go Jenna, Marcia and Janay!

Broken Down Suitcase and Stellar Radio Choir KILLED IT @ the Central

These gentleman from Golden really impressed in Fernie last night at the Central. After an awesome night of amazing spoken word and musical performances by local artists, these guys tore up the stage, starting off the night with some folk tunes in the Broken Down Suitcase duo. Once the crowd was warmed up the transformed into garage rock trio Stellar Radio Choir. They are amazing. We followed them today to Lethbridge to check out the recording of their new album, and even got to sneak Shred Kelly clapping onto the album. So we are in desperate anticipation for both the Broken Down Suitcase album and Stellar Radio Choir album to be released.
Oh yeah and these little gents, funny as hell. Great people, great music.

Matthew Hornell and The Diamond Minds Hit Fernie!

Newfoundland band Matt Hornell and the Diamond minds traveled through meters and meters of snow to get to Fernie to play an awesome show on Friday night. They had the Brickhouse packed! It was sweaty and awesome. Being recent winners of the East Coast Music Awards, we were thrilled to have them grace Fernie with their footstompin presence.
It turned into a rowdy night, and after taking them out for a delicious breakfast at the Old Elevator (thank you Paul and Cam for tending to our hungover selves) we sent them on their way.
These talented boys are on a 4 month tour at the moment. Check them out!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Watch Out Lisbet, New Ladies in Town!

Shiner was a bit of a heart throb this summer he won the hearts of many, but mostly these two beauties. Well at least one of them. Lisbet, you know I love you, but these girls are pretty cute.

Last Show of The Tour!

For our last show of the tour we had mixed feelings. Sadness, Gladness, stokedness, overtiredness, silliness, hungriness, all combined into one strange stew.
However the feelings of uneasiness soon subsided once we entered Lydia's. From the moment we entered we knew this was the night of nights to end the tour.
Upon first entering a group of rowdy Saskatoon hooligans hooted and hollered for some tasty guitar licks. The soundman and now good friend Ian told this hooligans that it would cost them for a private show. So this group of men paid Tim and Steve $100 to play them 2 songs.
Then, we got our own band room above the bar, and after a sweaty, dancing, cherry on top of the cake show, Ian the sound man told the boys that there were a gaggle of women who wanted to buy them beer and party with them after the show. Now to most men this would be the opportunity of a lifetime (or at least as far as lifetime opportunities go at 2:30 in the morning.) Unfortunately, they're all spoken for. But there was an after party in the band room, one which Steve and I opted out of so we could catch 5:00 in the morning flights instead! Goodbye Steve. Have fun in Australia.
Saskatoon, what a hidden gem you are. Thanks Ian and Saskatoon for ending our tour with a Bing Bang.
Thank you Canada!!! See you soon!

We found Todd Gamey, and He Found a Little Gent

We happened upon a fellow Fernie-ite out for dinner at the Double Decker Tavern in Brandon Manitoba before our gig. Todd Gamey ladies and gentlemen joined us for the evening and even entered the Shred Kelly Log Driver's Waltz Dance Competition. However, as there was a shortage of women and an abundance of men he found a dancing partner in this handsome laddie. Todd Gamey come home! Share some of your bromance with us!

Falcon Lake Shred, Swim, Sauna-Fest

This night was a definite highlight. For one, we kidnapped Charlie Gibson for his miraculous harmonica abilities and general awesomeness. For two, my mother dearest came along and got jiggy with it. For three, Jesse from the Crooked brothers and the owners of Falcon Trails resort are all amazing and friendly and marvellous and amazing cooks. For four, we got a deluxe cabin all to ourselves. For five, we got to swim and sauna and have a late night cabin jam! All in all we were treated like royalty and can't think of enough ways to say thank you to everyone who was there that night. It was a magical eve.
So magical that I forgot to take any pictures. So I will leave you with this clip of Jesse and the super talented Crooked Brothers who we hope to play with one day soon... January perhaps?!

Hello Kenora!

Thank you Sally and Bob for having us play in your backyard, it was a gorgeous evening and allowed for me to see many friends and family for my 2nd time through. We have truly had the pleasure of playing in some of the most beautiful places this summer, we can't wait for the year to come. I hope their backyard becomes host to more live music acts, cause it's really amazing. Also Charlie Gibson made a guest appearance doing a backflip during the Log Driver's Waltz and joining us for a few numbers and ripping around on the harmonica! Charlie Gibson come west and join us for some more performances, you stage presence and energy enraptured us all. Miss you already Kenora.

Steve Gets Pinned

On our way east we had the pleasure of playing in Thessalon at this really neat old church turned music venue called the Auld Kirk. After 7 hours in the car and previous back pains, Steve mentioned to an accupuncturist that he was in need of some aid. And that led to a fly by the seat of the pants needling. Thanks Thessalon for coming out cause our van failed us on our first attempt, and for taking care of the health of our bandmates.

Lakefield Rainy Day Jam!

What a wonderful day we had in Lakefield. Made wonderful by the generous people of Younge's Pointe for allowing us to play on their stage, and Martha and John Vlasschaert for an amazing bbq, hospitality and generosity during the last leg of our tour. I've never eaten so many delicious sandwiches. Also to Tim's wonderful family for housing us and feeding us periodically over the summer, and driving up to Lakefield with Tim's adorable nieces to take part in the footstompin' day! You should see Darcy and Olivia sing, dance and play the ukulele to Ghost Inside My Head, they put Shred Kelly to shame.
Thanks Everyone who came out and for your support!

Shred Kelly TShirts! Making Canada Look Goooood!

What can I say. After traveling the country I came to realize that we are a fairly good looking bunch! However, the good looking-ness of our nation was made even better once a Shred Kelly T was sported!

The beautiful Darcy and Olivia.

Kenora super fan Chris and his lovely lady!

Handsome Gent at the Dakota Tavern.

Cousin Brett and his beautiful bride.

Our Newfoundland friends!

Delhi 2 Dublin!

Best Live Show Ever! I've never danced this hard in all my days. This band is completely unique and getting people moving in ways bands have never done before. Seriously amazing. We had the joy of sharing a show with them in Peterborough at the Red Dog. Tim even got to rip an impromptou banjo solo in one of their diddy's. They are a spectacular bunch. I think the boys may've also had a wee crush on the fiddle player. But who can blame em'? If they are ever in a city or town near you... GO TO THEIR SHOW. You will dance your underpants off!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Vote for Fish On CBC Radio 3!

Hey friends family and fans! We are in a contest to be on a Nationally released compilation CD called David Suzuki's Playlist for the Planet. It is a CD composed of environmental songs by Canadian artists and we want our song Fish to be on it! But we need your help. So go to this link
Also we're under the BC category and it's in alphabetical order, so you might need to scroll for a bit but then you shall see Fish by Shred Kelly. Oh and you need to be a member, so sign up!
Thanks so much everyone. Wish us luck! We've got some stiff competition, word on the street is Raffi is a competitor, and who doesn't love Raffi?

Anywho, check out this video of David Suzuki rocking out and then vote!!